OK... I've been sitting on this blog for a while. I've wanted to write, but I guess I just needed a little more fuel added to my fire. Why are people so ignorant? A more important question: Why are ignorant people able to breed? I am fully aware that people may look at things that both moms on this blog do and wonder why we do it, but one thing no one can deny is we've done our research and we feel we have made the right decisions for our children. There are things we do differently, but we don't judge each other because we both have reason to back up what we do and we respect each other's decisions. We have debates from time to time, but there's no question in the end all of our children come from a loving home and are taken care of well. Now, there are some people who pay absolutely no attention to what they are doing to their children!!
The first issue I am going to address is medicating children. I, personally, rarely medicate my child. If my child needs antibiotics, yes, my child gets them. Does my child get cough medicine with every cough... why HELL NO! I believe our immune systems are there for a reason. If you are doing all the work for them, their bodies will never learn to do it on their own. Why are you shoving all this medicine down your child's throat??? I understand some kids need medicine to breath. I know there are situations when a child needs to be on medication. NO child needs to be on cough medicine daily! A few month ago, I witness a four year old child telling his mother, "Mama, I can't sleep. I need medicine." SHE GAVE IT TO HIM! You don't give a child medicine at their request! You don't give a child medicine to make them go to sleep! There's a much better way to get your child to go to bed. Get off the phone... stop messing with the computer and make your child stay in bed! If they lay there long enough, they will fall asleep. Yes, it will take some of your time. Your child will need your attention, but they will benefit much more from that than from medication! Stop shoving medicine down your children's throat! You are creating future drug addicts!
Alright, now that that's off my chest... It makes me absolutely sick to my stomach when I see single mothers more worried about boys than they are about their children. Having a new guy in your child/ren's life every other week or month is detrimental to them! Why do you want to teach your child/ren that this is acceptable? I've seen a two year old child call every man he meets "Daddy" because for the first year and a half of his life the two men he was around were called "Daddy". What would possess someone to do this? I've seen a few girls, far from women, move themselves and their children in with guys or let the guys move in with them after a few weeks of dating. The children start forming a relationship with the men, and then surprise! The relationship ends! Children need stability. Yes, you can't control everything that happens, and sometimes things may be thrown off track, but changing a child's home life every couple of months is not healthy. Then, when your child/ren start having behavioral problems, you start wondering why. To answer that question, you are an idiot! That's why your child/ren act like that and you have absolutely no control over them.
While on the subject of men and behavioral issues... you don't let a man who has been in your child/ren's life for 2 weeks, a month or even 6 months discipline your child! Your child will never respect them and there's a good chance they will eventually lose the little respect they may have for you. A child needs to know they can trust someone first. They need to know that a person is there to care for them and respect them before they start hearing "No, no, no" from someone. I realize it's easier to pass that responsibility off on anyone who's around, especially since you obviously don't know how to discipline them, but this is your responsibility. They are your children! Once again... get off the phone, stop talking to that boy who won't be around in 3 weeks and take care of your children.
Now, when I say take care of your children, I am not meaning beat them. I am fully aware that the time-out method takes a little while to fully show results and talking to your child and explaining what they did wrong requires you to take some time out of your personal life and all, but in the long run, it works! There are many things you can do, besides hitting your child repeatedly, that will teach a child right and wrong. I am not against spankings in general. I have spanked my child, but I rarely spank my child, so when I do, it does immediately change a behavior. I spank in extreme situations. Otherwise, I use time-out, behavior charts, and I talk to my child. Amazingly... I can send my child to school or to a babysitter and my child is always well behaved. Hitting your child every time they do something wrong and screaming at the top of your lungs will not teach your child anything good. This only teaches your child that hitting is acceptable and it's not. Chances are, if spanking and yelling are your only forms of discipline, this is the main interaction you have with your child and he/she knows it. Translation: They will continue the bad behavior in order to get the only attention they can from you. Sounds kind of sad, doesn't it? It is. Very.
Get off the phone! Put down the computer! Stop doing whatever else you are doing that seems to be more important than spending time with your children and teach them the things they needs to know in life. Show your children that they are important to you. Show them you care. Play a game with them. Take them to the park and push them on the swing. You will be amazed at what a little time and attention will do for your children. Stop using medication to make them more agreeable. Stop hitting your children any chance you get. Speak to them. Like you and I, they understand words much better than a hand. Teach them right and wrong by explaining things to them. You'd truly be amazed at what this will do for the child's behavior. Stop passing the responsibility off on other people. Stop putting your children last. The men come and go... your children will always be in your life. Start appreciating them. It's not guaranteed you or they will be here tomorrow. Your children need you. Step up and be a mother.